Hi, I'm Psiberzerker, and I'm insane. This archive is mostly therapeutic, for some traumatic experiences, and a fucked up childhood. Including the confusion of going through the wrong puberty. So, I have fucked up dreams and fantasies, mostly involving Gender reversal. For example, women raping men, little girls raping men, crossdressing, and changing their appearence to attract pedophiles as adults. And probably rape them. Not to mention SF/Horror elements like alien cybernetic possession (Intelligent Neuronano) shape changing, BDSM, and psychology.
I originally got into Psyche to figure out what's wrong with me, and I'm still working on it. One of my mottoes is: "You're never done." Now, I use them to understand other people, as well as a Character Generation system. Particularly the 4 Holmes & Holmes pathotypes for sexually motivated pathological criminals: Power Assertive (Malignant Narcissist, Prezident Don, or Ted Bundy. PAMN for short) Power-Reassurance (Romantic Stalker. True love delusion breaks down to rape, and often murder when the bubble bursts) Anger Retaliator (Sexist, or other Hate motivated rapists, and other sexual abusers. Typically strike strangers from behind in semi-public, and avoid cruising for them near their home, or work) and Anger Excitation Sadists (If you own a dungeon, and kidnap victims to torture to death, you might be an AES) Not to mention female versions of typically male sexual abusers like Picarists, and/or Frotteurs. (Stabbing, and/or rubbing strangers in public for emotional release. Respectively. Arguably subsets of Anger-Retaliatory behaviors.)
Also gender reversed, so for example had I written 50 shades, I would have made it Femdom. Because Dominatrices are the highest payed sex workers, in an industry dominated by women. Yet men make more money at it, and the spokesmodel is Ron Jeremy, because men run everything. Because rich guys like that, who have never suffered, nor need ever dream of Power, tend to like being tied up and beaten in their own playrooms by professionals. Why there's professionals. Guys without power tend to make dungeons in their basement, and play lame duck to lure victims into their vans. They don't take you on helicopter rides, and buy you a fucking car on the first date. (Also, don't escalate from a bare handed spanking to Caning, Blindfolded, and suspended to dislocate Ana's shoulders, then de-escalate to a belt spanking on a bed. As the "Worst." Incidentally, 50 Shades is right about about The Worst.)
As therapy, I've actually used Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism as a form of sex therapy, on myself, my friends, and sex workers I associated with. (Personally, and Professionally) So, a lot of the selections get really really Nerdy. Like triggering nerdy, if you just want to get off, and don't care about the motivations behind it.
I do. I write to try to explain what makes little girls rape men, victims enjoy it, and what that sort of experience does to someone. So, quite often they just sit down and talk about it. Or think about it, or try not to think about it. Sometimes they figure out answers, or make up wrong answers (Lying to themselves, and others) and quite often, they just have no fucking clue.
Also, Their/There. I have perfect diction, I'm an author, but most of my characters don't. They range from barely literate to College level Language professors. So, barring the occasional honest mistake, their speling, and Grammar are intentional. I find it's easier to get into character, and getting into character is what it's all about. If I write a Kindergartener that knows way too much about sex, reads, and corects peoples' pronunciation of "Kindergarden," then that should be some clue that there's something abnormal going on here. Instead of being the kind of stroke writer that forgets that Infants in diapers can barely talk, because they don't have a fully formed palate yet, much less get sexually aroused to gushing orgasms. Unless they're not the toddlers they appear to be.
For me, I write these for me. You're welcome to read over my shoulder if you like.
^That stands for "I can go on." Often used as a chapter break. No promises, though. I also tend to switch PoV every chapter, to alternate the narrator, rather than write in 3rd person omniscient, and describe everyone down to their bra size. A lot of them are anonymous, or use aliases, or change them talking to/as different people, and actively conceal their identities. Same with locations, and it also leaves some things for you to imagine for yourselves. You like redheads? All right, she's a redhead. Otherwise, I only mention it if it's significant to the story, fetishistic (Like an Anger Retaliator that prefers bleached blondes with fake tits) or as red hairings to prevent spoilers. I also pun.
Any feedback is welcome, that's http://[email protected]